Dudley's Destiny
by casadea
Summary: *clears throat* at the risk of being pelted with fruits (please note, i'm quite fond of pears) i just wrote a bit on what may have happened if dudley and harry's roles had been reversed.


Dudley's Destiny

"They're the only living relatives you could find?" 

"Yes, sir. James and Lily Potter, of Godric's Hollow." 

"Godric's Hollow?" The officer pushed his cap up and scratched his forehead in confusion. "Where's that?" 

"I'm not exactly sure, Sir." 

"Well…" he took a deep breath. "Try to find it. Ask Luther-he knows all those lil' places 'round 'ere." 

"Yes, sir." The young secretary nodded her understanding and picked up the phone from the corner of her desk. 

All the while, the subject of this conversation was sleeping peacefully and obliviously unaware of his plight on the counter next to the young woman. As she got a hold of Luther, he gave a small gurgle and turned over in his sleep. 

"Harry!? Dudley!? Wake up!" Hand on the banister, wand tucked haphazardly in the crook of her elbow, Lily Potter waited at the bottom of the stairs for the two boys to appear, sleepy-eyed and hungry. 

They both came barreling down the stairs at the same time, Harry's glasses askew in his haste to beat Dudley; Dudley without a shirt. They bolted into the kitchen, chairs scraping against the floor as they sat, shouted cries of "I won!" and "You cheated!" ringing through the hall where she still stood, eyes raised heavenly. 

"MUM! There's an owl here!" Harry shouted, snapping her back into reality. Curious, and slightly apprehensive, she entered the kitchen where the snowy white was eagerly eating the offered bacon from Dudley's hand. Ever since James and Sirius had started working together at the Ministry, she'd felt nervous over every owl sent home early. No telling what kind of trouble those two could get in. 

"Hey—it has my name on it!" Dudley said suddenly, finally noticing the printed handwriting on the front of the envelope. "And it's from London!" 

"What in the world…" Lily untied the letter and turned it over, reading the postmark. 

_Social Services –Offices of London_

"Boys? Go outside for a moment, please," she said, heart dropping as she sank into a chair. 

"But I'm not done eating!" Harry protested, a milk moustache hanging over his top lip. 

"Please, give me five minutes," Lily gave him a sweet smile, kissing the top of both their heads as they reluctantly went outside. 

Certain they were out of sight, she opened the letter and read it, trembling. From outside the kitchen window, she could see her two sons-no, correction… Her son and her sister's son, whom they adopted when she had died, playing in the yard, tossing garden gnomes over the low stone wall. Both looking so happy, so content… And now this. 

She sent for James immediately. 

A week went by without another letter. The first had mysteriously disappeared under the tip of Lily's wand, and she had been foolish enough to believe it had been the end of it. But at breakfast the following Monday, another owl came soaring through the open window, hooting softly for payment as he held out his package. 

"It's another letter addressed to me!" Dudley said excitedly, already reaching for it. 

"Don't touch it!" Lily ordered, grabbing it before he could. 

"But Aunt Li-_ly_!!" 

"Go play!" she said, tucking the letter into her apron pocket and avoiding Dudley's suspicious eyes. "Go on!" 

And so it continued, for a week more. Until one day, as Harry and Dudley raced to the table, a knock on the door halted them mid-way. 

"Dudley, will you go get that?" Lily called out, trying to set the table, wash the dishes, and serve the eggs at the same time. There was a long pause. Curiously, she went to the front door to see what was taking Dudley so long to return. 

"Dudley, dear? Who is it?" she asked, wiping her hands on the apron as she approached the door. 

"It's a strange looking man," Dudley answered. 

Indeed, it was.A stout, balding man with a ratty moustache stood on the doorstep, a briefcase in one hand, a scowl on his face. 

"May I help you?" 

"Are you Mrs. Potter?" 

"Yes, sir, who might you be?" 

"Joseph Kosmo, Head of Social Services," He said coldly. 

"Oh dear," she held onto the doorframe for support. "You've come for Dudley, haven't you?" 

"I've sent you letter upon letter ahead of time, Mrs. Potter. You must have been prepared for this." 

"Whaddya mean, they've come for me?" Dudley asked curiously. 

"Young man, I trust you've been informed of your parental origins?" Mr. Kosmo asked, not unkindly, stooping to be face to face with the skinny little blonde boy. 

"My parents were killed by Lord Voldemort!" He said, pride in their heroic death evident in his voice as his chest swelled. 

Mr. Kosmo raised his eyebrows and gave Lily an incredulous look. "My God, you've been telling him lies all this time!?" 

"Lies? Oh, no, sir, not lies…" 

"What's going on!?" Dudley demanded, looking from Lily to Mr. Kosmo. 

"Son, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your parents were killed in an automobile accident." 

"An automobile accident?" he repeated. "D'you mean to tell me--?" 

"You, son, are a muggle. A ward of the state, now. I'm afraid you'll have to come with me." 

"But—a muggle!?" he was confused. "I thought that was only in stories-"

"I won't let you take him!" Lily proclaimed, holding onto Dudley's shoulders. 

"I'd like to see a witch like yourself try to stop the Social Services from doing their duty!" he shot back, grabbing Dudley's arm. "Come on, son—we'll get you a nice home, with none of this magical nonsense!" 

"Dudley!!" Lily cried, holding her hands out to her nephew as he was dragged down the stairs to the waiting car out front. 

"G'bye, Aunt Lily," he waved. "I'm off to attend a public school, eat out at McDonalds, and become a cooperate leader in the London Industrial Front." 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" she wailed, sinking to her knees in tortured anguish. "Not my nephew! A businessman!? What will the neighbors say!? Oh, gods, curse those muggles!" 

"Thank you and good day," Mr. Kosmo nodded curtly, starting the engine and speeding off down the road, towards Dudley's dreams of a life he'd never known. 

_*waits for the throwing of assorted vegetables* I'm sorry. I had to write this. I needed something silly to write. Please don't mock me too much. Thank you. _

_As always, the characters portrayed within belong to JK Rowling. (aside from Joseph Kosmo, who, as much as I remember, was a French musician from the '40s.)_


End file.
